just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
