Banned from zoo.
Again?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
