he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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