All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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