the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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