fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
