The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
