just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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