You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
