i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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