oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize