fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
