i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
