Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
