so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
