I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
