Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
