peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
