Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
