JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
