just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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