I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
