is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
