Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
