Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
