Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
