Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize