I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
