I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
