You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
