Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
