Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize