Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
