Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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