If that was your dad, he is hot
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
