I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
