She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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