I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize