The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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