Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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