Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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