You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she smelled like a LAN party
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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