I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
