i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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