Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
