would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
