and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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