You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
