My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
