dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize