you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
