yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have aggressive nipples.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
