just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
