I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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