i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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