Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize