i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
