Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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