Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
