so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
