Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
This house was built for laser tag.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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