you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
