I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
