My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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